This Hectic Life; Update

So I have been hiding, but for good reason I promise! So much has been going on in our lives we can barely keep up, let alone stop for a moment to blog it all. Hubby took on a bit of a career change, although he is still working on the same overall career plan, he is excited to be at a new place, doing something a little different, and with more growth opportunities then he had previously. We are very proud of him!

Elliott is growing like a weed, and these last several months brought so many more developments then the first seven did. He is now full-blown walking, has 8 teeth and counting, 24lbs 6oz, and 32 inches tall. He argues with shrieks of disapproval, and he is as independent as they come. He is eating full meals right off our plates (no more purees), and has a bedtime routine to die for! He gives high fives, hugs and kisses, identifies favourite toys, and has taken an active approach to playing with the dogs. He throws things in a temper tantrum, and stiffens up or hits out, though we are trying desperately to curb these behaviours. He gets more and more adorable by the day and sports a head full of hair. We integrated Elliott into a wonderful in-home daycare. He is thriving there and we all couldn't be more happy with the transition. He has learned so much already after just a few short months, and has learned to play well with playmates. Elliott had his first emergency disaster. He got a hold of my hot tea (yes these things can happen, even with constant supervision) and suffered 2nd degree burns to his chest and abdomen. He took an ambulance ride to the hospital and was admitted overnight at sick kids. We were well taken care of (to say the very least) and he has made a 100% recovery in just a very short time.

I, have officially returned to work! I thought I would dread the day, but it is serving me well so far. I would have never realized it while I was still at home taking in every little piece of my son everyday, but I needed this. I need the opportunity to put my over-active brain to work and get beck to the nursing assessments that I am used to. Don't get me wrong, I love my time with my son, and I spent every moment I could with him while I was home for that year, but this is a part of me too! I am more then just a mother, a am a great many things!

Elliott celebrated his first birthday! In a stylish "Lets go fly a kite" themed party we silently mourned the end of his first year in our lives, and welcomed all the exciting new adventure this next one will bring. Elliott was gracious enough to share his cupcake with momma, and then when offering it to dad he decided to throw it across his face instead, all in good humour of course! We called upon our immediate families to join in the celebration, so it was a nicely intimate event, and it went on without a hitch.

Elliott provided us with our biggest announcement of all!! We learned on Valentines Day afternoon (after this momma felt queasy and questionable for a few days) that we are welcoming another family member in October. This came as a big surprise to us, as we weren't trying, nor, did we believe we could conceive naturally after all we had been through to have Elliott. We could not possibly be happier about the news, ourselves, and recently learned it is another boy! We are so incredibly blessed in this life, to have been given the gift of "surprise" which I used to resent other women for after all these years of waiting. This journey is far from over, at now 9 months pregnant, and busy working full-time until my Mat leave in mid October. We are busy getting organized for the hectic life of raising 2 boys! We have a nursery to put together, and toys to get organized, but No matter how crazy it gets, I honestly wouldn't have it any other way!

Much Love, Lesleigh!

Instructional: Reusable Wipe Solution

I follow many mommy forums and often see questions being raised about making your own wipes. What do you use? recipes? To warm or not to warm? etc. So I thought I would post it all here... one easy reference to get you from start to finish (well.. your on your own when its laundry day, sorry folks).

If you cloth diaper I highly recommend making your own reusable wipes, its just easier, everything goes in the same place (no more picking dehydrated disposable wipes out of your dryer). If you do not cloth diaper, this recipe can easily be applied to paper towel wipes too.

To begin, its about picking the right materials. We begin with our earths most versatile natural resource, water, then an oil base to loosen up any sticky messes, a soap base to break the resistance between oil and water, antibacterial/fungal source, and scent if desired. Of course you will need your supply of wipes. In my case I have some WAHM flannelette (pajama material). Fleece is a great no-sew option, and many people just cut up the hundreds of receiving blankets we all get as gifts. 7X7 is the perfect size to fit into the prince lionheart wipes warmer.
Be careful not to select any perishable items in your mixture, I made that mistake in my first recipe when it called for steeped camomile tea, it resulted in a pressure build-up and a stray bottle exploding all over my nursery. I also did away with the spray bottle after that experience.

So here is what I have selected as my go-to must have household supplies

1. 1 tbsp Coconut oil

-the most versatile, and has many healing natures, excellent source for bum rashes

-almond oil, and olive oil were also recommended in my recipe

2. 2 tbsp Dr. Bronners Castile soap

-comes in many scents (including unscented)

-found in health food stores

3. 2.5 cups Water

-distilled can be used if preferred

4. 4 drops Tea tree oil

- Too much can not be used as this can be damaging to sensitive skin, just a few drops is enough and is easily diluted in the rest of our mixture.

5. 6 drops Essential oil of your choice

- I personally do not use any other essential oil to my mixture because I chose the scented Castile soaps. I suspected too much essential oil in my mixture was the reason I got a funky smell to my diapers this winter. Remember, your wipes get washed with your diapers so you want to make sure the ingredients are cloth diaper friendly.

Lets Begin...

 First thing is first, if your using a wipe warmer it is incredibly important to soak your freshening pad. The heat dries out the atmosphere within the warmer, and will draw the fluid out of your wipes. This freshening pad serves as a buffer, you will find it semi-dry by the time you need to make a new batch of wipes.

 

Replace your freshener in your warmer at the bottom (wipes will sit on top of it). Excuse the condition of mine, it is stained with dye from my wipes.

 As I said above wipes cut at 7X7 is the perfect size for the wipes warmer. I fold mine in half when they come out of the dryer. wet them while folded... just saves that one step when I am making the wipes.

 Choose a large Bowl, add your 2.5 cups of water. I like to start with a warm-hot water, so my wipes are warm and ready to go right away. The heat is also great for softening the coconut oil.

 Next add 1 Tbsp of coconut oil, I melt mine in the microwave (20 seconds)

Then 2 Tbsp Dr. Bronners Castile soap

Now your 4 drops of tea tree oil, and your 6 drops of other essential oil of choice (lavender, mandarin, lemon are all nice scents for the solution)

Submerge each wipe (1 at a time)

Wring it out so its not sopping but nicely wet for washing those dirty bottoms

lay your folded cloth flat

roll it up

so it looks like this

Place it at one end of your warmer You want to make sure you have a small space between each side of you warmer in order for the heat to travel throughout the whole warmer.

continue to repeat process with each wipe, lining them in a row

Complete first row...

then lay the second row, using one less wipe then you laid in the first row

Each new row should get shorter (less wipes) as we go, creating a pyramid effect

this allows for the heat to travel evenly to all the wipes stored in your warmer

if desired pour the remainder of your solution over the stacked wipes

You have now successfully created approximately half a weeks supply of wipes. I prefer this method after trying the lay flat and stack method because the heat reaches all my wipes evenly. The lay flat method resulted in my top 8 or so wipes remaining cold.

If there is any part of the process I left out feel free to comment or leave questions and I will definitely try to address them.

Much Love,

Lesleigh

What I can Never Be...

For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a mother, I lived and breathed the idea of being a mother, I was quite possibly obsessed with the idea of being a mom. I had plenty of dolls that were my babies which is normal for a young girl, but in my case it carried past the "normal" age in which doll loving was acceptable. It wasn't even so much that I loved my dolls but that I believed they were real. I had a nursery set up in my closet where I would feed and change my baby every morning before school, and where she would sleep in her cradle until I arrived home. I was emotional about leaving my doll, in the same way a mother would be to leave her child at a sitters. It wasn't the only thing I wanted in my life, but it was certainly the most important.

Back then, my ideal life was to have a career (a pediatrician), an unlimited supply of money, days would be endless, and I could be home with my child(ren) every second of the day. There was no need for baby-sitters, because, I some how thought I could have it all, do it all, and be everywhere all at once. Growing up you soon realize the days are much shorter then you ever imagined, a career (especially one in pediatrics) takes a lot of time and dedication to achieve, money is very difficult to come by, and passes out of your pocket much faster then it got there, and I can not be home with my child all the time (nor does he need me to). My point is, nothing in life is as we expect it, but there is still hope for true happiness as long as we can learn to live our life for ourselves and stop comparing our accomplishments to one another.

As I am on maternity leave and have plenty of time to think, plan, and organize how I become a hands-on-parent, hardworking employee, loving wife, dedicated homemaker, and a thin and sexy female, I realize it is a fine art to accomplish it all. In fact, such a fine art, that I think very few women would actually be able to say they achieve it.

I think I can speak for many, if not all women, when I say we often compare ourselves to the women around us. It is, after all, a completely natural way of scoring our abilities and building goals for a new and improved self. Of course I want to score 100% in all these areas, however, I have just recently come to the realization that we only have 100% to give. There are only 7 days in a week, only 24 hours in one day, and 60 minutes in one hour. No matter which way we look at it, or whose eyes we are viewing the world from, this calculation of time always holds true.

I am different then the woman that lives next to me, and the ones across from me are their own persons too. My priorities are different, as to, are my values, my goals, and my visions for my future. Sure, my husband believes its possible for me to spend 2 hours every night at the gym, after all, he does see a fine, fit, young woman there every day, but surely there is something in her life that is missing, something both my husband and I value deeply in mine/ours.

I could sacrifice story-time with my son, or dinner with my whole family, I could give up the little time I get to myself before I turn out the lights for the night. I could sacrifice my daily driving time (if we could move closer to my work), or drop hours and go part-time at work (in turn losing benefits, sick time, pension, cash flow etc.). There are plenty of things I could give up to look like her, but I won't. I value all those things in my life, and as a family we need them. That skinny chick at the gym, well, shes not me. She doesn't have to look my son in the eye and say good-bye, each time she heads to the gym. She doesn't have to work my 12 hour shifts 3-5 times a week. She does not have to keep my house clean or cook my meals. Nor does she feed and walk my dogs, or pleasure my husband. Sure she has her own responsibilities, but she values hers differently then me.

I briefly imagined entertaining her gym habits for the week, and what I felt was an emptiness, like I had done myself a huge injustice. Whether or not I would enjoy myself, felt great physically, lost 10lbs, or got compliments from strangers, even if I won a cash award for most dedicated gym member, nothing would dissolve the guilt I felt or the sadness that consumed me as the other areas I value more greatly in my life suffered from this dedication.

This isn't just about going to the gym, it's also about that woman that does 12+ hours of overtime each week at work too. Or the Facebook mom that posts new activities or events she has done with her child everyday, its about the friend that has sex with her husband 5x a week, or the neighbor that leaves the house with a full face of make-up, perky boobs, and hair in ringlets everyday (even when shes just walking down to the mailbox), its about all the things I am not, and never will be, because even though I'd like to think I could, I will never be ALL of them all the time, and still be happy.

Life, is not generated from a computer program where we pick and chose the qualities of the people we admire then build one totally awesome avatar. Its about building on our natural abilities, our interests, our values, and our qualities, and dividing our 100% realistically amongst the responsibilities we have in our own life. I can not decide on my own evaluation in my life then compare it to that of my neighbor because then, of course, my numbers would never add up. Whats important is that I compare it to my own history and add a little tweaking here-and there so I am happier today.

Lets just say my evaluation looks like this;


20% Marriage
20% Motherhood
20% Career
10% Dog-lover
10% Homemaker
10% Health/wellness
5%   Friendships
5%   Sleep/Rest/Spirituality
100% My Life- Complete Happiness

If I changed my evaluation for anyone, but myself, It would never make me as happy as this one. There is only one way I can live my life to accomplish all that I strive to accomplish and balance all that is important to me at the same time. My boss can not tell me to invest more at work, my husband can not tell me to give more of myself to him, my son can not expect me to stay home with him each and everyday, and the skinner chick at the gym can not make me feel inadequate as long as I stay true to my own evaluation of my life, score myself based on my own accomplishments and abilities, and love myself for who I am.

There is always room for self-improvement, of course, but the desire has to be built deep within your heart, and the evaluation of your life has to balance at 100%. We ARE capable of giving 110% from time-to-time, but its unrealistic to believe that we are capable of accomplishing that on a regular basis without the whole pyramid crashing down on us.

In short, I refuse to be judged by my inability to hit the gym more than 'that girl', or work as efficiently as 'this one' because I am happy with the evaluation I have set out for myself, and although I may not be meeting it today, I have tomorrow to improve on it.


I want to make my husband proud, I want to make my dogs happy, I want to be fit-and well (within my means), have a neat and tidy home, cook dinner half of the time (after all my husband is there to help too), be a great friend, and I want to be clean, well dressed, and rested. The number one thing I will never compromise from my childhood expectations is being the mother I always new I wanted to be (minus the unrealistic time I thought I could spend with him). I can not change the desires of my heart, but I can always learn to be true to them.

"There Is A Voice Inside Of You

That Whispers All Day Long,

"I Feel That This Is Right For Me,

I Know That This Is Wrong."

No Teacher, Preacher, Parent, Friend

Or Wise Man Can Decide

What's Right For You- Just Listen To 

The Voice That Speaks Inside.

-Shel Silverstein

Best wishes on your own journey!

<3 Lesleigh

(portrait photographs by Cassie Vosburgh Photography)

When Advice Doesn't Help

Welcoming your first child into the world is complete bliss. Every moment is inhaled and taken in as if life never truly existed until that very moment your precious child was born. Time slows but has a way of breezing past you at the same time and his first day quickly turns into his first month as you wonder how you managed to last that long with little-to-no sleep.

For us, it was a constant reminder of how "new" we are to all of this. We walked into the hospital all cocky and ready for his birth, inflated with overconfidence and "preparedness". Oh! how humbled we have become since then! But now we face each day, as if the next is never promised, after all, through our journey of infertility we learned how precious life truly is, and how hard it is to come by. It's not that Elliott is a handful, just that our expectations of parenthood were so "7th Heaven" (easy and sugar-coated), and of course, the evil hormonal imbalance hits a post-natal woman like a ton of bricks.

Needless to say, Shane and I soon realized we have a lot to learn, but we remain humbled and ready to be educated with and by our son as he teaches us each cue, just as every parent works with their child to iron out these things together.

Behind the closed door of our home (and I don't mean to brag) is a happy family striving to provide their child with the best life one can give them. We are okay with that, because we know we are investing our best regardless of what we know.

Then the moment we open the front door we are faced with the deadly stares of scrutiny and conviction from a society filled with seasoned parents (I don't mean to categorize every parent, but there is a large number of them) who believe they know us and our son better then we do. They offer, not advice, but weighted opinion with each circumstance, then hold their breath as they expect us to act out their technique immediately. Leaving us an irritated, teeth-clenching, unsure-of-yourself mess before walking idly on to their next new-parent encounter.

When I log onto my social media sites I am consistently reminded that "Breast is Best" and though I don't necessarily disagree (Elliott is currently breastfed), I feel it is unnecessary for the world to send out the message that Formula-fed babies are "sub-par". I converse, on a daily basis, with nearly 200 new moms, and know through some of their experiences that formula feeding was a life saver in many different ways. I do not understand why, as a parenting community, we have come to believe that breastfeeding needs to be "normalized", every woman knows she in fact owns a pair of (insert breast size here). Every woman is aware of the functional ability of their breasts, and that this said function is NORMAL. What needs to be spread worldwide on picket signs, and spray painted on our chests is this; difficulty with breastfeeding is a NORMAL symptom of postpartum, it is NOT a choice! This includes; difficulty with supply, problems with latching, complications with muscle/tissue/nipple state, blocked ducts, mastitis, and the mental state of a new mom. Remember what I stated above about the evil hormonal imbalance, well, YES, it does cause temporary clinical mental conditions that could potentially cause a disturbance in the success of breastfeeding, and happens to also be a perfectly excusable reason for a woman not to breastfeed. Let me make this clear; I am NOT disregarding breast milk as the most beneficial nutritional substance a mother can give her child, but I will say this, any mother who LOVES her child abundantly (regardless of breastfeeding) is still providing him with the single most valuable thing a child needs. When I was in my first moments of postnatal bliss, My son was laid on my chest not for his innate sense to "root" for my nipple (although he did that too), but for his innate sense to hear, feel, and touch the place from which he was rooted, deep within my heart!

I BELIEVE IN BREASTFEEDING!!!!! I can't stress that enough! However, I do not believe in "preaching" to the unable masses that they must also believe in this too! I do NOT believe that it is the right thing for everybody, and I DO believe that it is far more damaging (for both mother and child) to breastfeed under the wrong circumstances then to not breastfeed at all. Formula companies, may not have our best interest at heart, but they also do not have our worst interests at heart either, they are simply learning to mimic breast milk so that it may be more equally integrated into a needy childs life (it can't possibly be perfect). I, for one, am glad that as women we have that option if/when our bodies (or minds) fail us.

I recently had a terrible encounter, with a group of women who didn't just believe that "Breast is Best" but lived it and breathed this down other womens throats. They enforce(d) their thoughts through cyber-bullying and hailed that all those who didn't believe like them were quite simply narrow-minded. This is funny, because, I for one, began this encounter with them stating that they needed to be less forceful, and more openly acceptable to circumstance of these women and provide help/support/ and education as their page advertised to provide. Turns out their page was simply a misleading signal to draw in poor unsuspecting mothers, and turn them into feeding machines.

I will not lie, and say that breastfeeding doesn't bring me pride because it does, but more importantly it brings me thankfulness that I have been blessed with a stress-free, no complication, joyous, baby-bonding experience. I do not need to strip down to my bra in the middle of a busy mall and show the world how proud I am, because perhaps the meek young thirty-something woman sitting across from me has just made her first public appearance after an emotional loss over her ability to have her own children at all.

I suppose what I am trying to say is that we have to put the psychological state of ourselves and our children first. No amount of forcing yourself to do something you resent will make any one better off. If the controversial decisions we make can be justified by creating a stronger bond between you, then so be it! And when you encounter the nay-Sayers, remember this, there is not a soul in this world that has mastered parenting, not a child that is alike, and not a tried-and-true solution that addresses each individual problem. Parenting is a journey, not a prescription for raising children.

Much Love,

Lesleigh

**Disclaimer** This post is simply intended as food-for-thought, although some of what is written may be viewed as controversial, I do encourage you to think about what works best for you. Research does show that breast milk is the best supplement for a growing infant and that should be valued greatly in your decision making.

  

Quick Catch Up!

Confession. I have been uber busy!
Confession. I am on call 24/7
Confession. I barely get dressed anymore
Confession. I have never hired a baby-sitter
Confession. I have been breathing in every fiber of parenthood instead of blogging
Confession. I love my son infinitely; the good, the bad, the refusing to sleep, the biting of my nipples... it doesn't change a thing, I know what True Love feels like!

In the last seven (yes! SEVEN) months I have been a mother. I have come an extremely loooong way since first logging on and confessing our infertility. The direction of my life has changed in immeasurable ways and since I no longer need to post about infertility or pregnancy struggles I have decided to revamp this blog in major ways. Now my expertise lies in diaper changes, and sleep training. I have traded in depressed days laying in bed, for days spent in a chair rocking a swaddled baby, or busy Sundays making a weeks worth of baby-food.

We have made many decisions on our sons behalf, cloth diapering, breastfeeding, co-bathing, etc. and there will be discussions about all of that here. There is no doubt you may find my love of my son a tad obnoxious, but I can't help it he is my world!

Brief update: January 2014 marks the month I begin back-to-work planning. Yes, I am one of those "working moms", I'd love to stay home with E forever, but its just not doable for us right now. So... this month progresses with calls out to Daycares, and contacts with work to plan my return to work date. I'm treading waters I have never swam in before. Its scary roads ahead (tear). The new year also brought with it E's 1st tooth, major attempts at walking, sitting up, and Eating solids (since early November).

While I start scouring sites and making my phone calls I leave you with photos of E since I last posted several months ago

 

much love!
Lesleigh

Meet Our Son!

I am a little late on the birth announcement post, but our sweet, adorable son is here!!!

Elliott Andrew Povey was born at 3:33am on June 12, 2013. He came into this world weighing 8lbs, 4oz (the exact birth weight of his father) and 22.5 inches in length. Its not shocking he was born with blue eyes as most babies are, but his GINGER hair took us all a little by surprise (although I did pray for a ginger babe). He arrived quietly whimpering and eyes-wide-open curiously checking out his surroundings (for hours) at the Oshawa General Hospital via natural birth and assisted by our midwife, Lauren Wattam (a miracle worker). At a whole TEN days overdue, he graced us with his ridiculously pruney, and over-baked self only hours before a dreaded medical induction would have begun.

Labor was welcomed and enjoyed at our home, where our families congregated to enjoy fellowship, and jointly anticipate the arrival of the new grandson, cousin, nephew, son, and brother (the dogs). We moved into the hospital after some minor complications brought labor to a halt, and although our birth plan consisted of remaining at home, we couldn't be more pleased with how seamless and breathtaking our experience was.

He is every bit as precious as we expected, and exceeding our expectations in every way. This journey isn't easy, as any parent will attest, but we intend to give this little boy every bit of joy, love, and happiness that he brings to us.

Please enjoy these photos by Olivejuice Photography that were gifted to us by our good friend and Olivejuice founder and photographer, Lindsay Jeans!

xoxo

Lesleigh, Shane, and Elliott