Magazine Junkie

Here is a little taste of the new reading material I have been reviewing. Am I crazy? or am I just being prepared and well informed? Actually, within these magazines is the verification that I needed that I am not alone. It isnt just your typical lucky, happy, fertile types, there are tips, information, and naturopathic remedies for the less likely to get knocked up. My mom, in her general concern, provided me with the Alive magazine (often seen on shelves in Health food stores) because she came across an article about boosting your fertility, and creating a clean, healthy, organic living environment for babe. I initially read with enthusiasm because of course I am all for making my body a healthy place to live, but I quickly became overwhelmed with the information and nervous about some of the suggested supplements interfering with the medical fertility medications I have already been prescribed.

I had previously visited a naturopathic practitioner (at the suggestion of a friend) and I loved every minute of the appointment, because I felt like for once someone was thoroughly going through my health history for the first time. Then, I grew impatient of the results, and  ran directly to the medical field that I have grown so accustomed to trusting throughout my lifetime. I don't know if I made the right decision, but at the time, I had already been waiting months to get into the fertility specialist and felt that enough time had been wasted just waiting. I would love to have completed this process naturally (and I am sure there are others that judge me on my decisions) but, I am dealing with the hand that I have been dealt, and everyday  that nothing happens seems like another missed opportunity (and an eternity).

I am sure many of you know that a womans cycle is a tricky thing, and there is a very small window of opportunity on the "trying to conceive" front (3-5 days in fact). So when I am told to be patient or wait another day, please excuse my irritabilty, because when I miss those few days I am actually behind a whole other month. A struggle Dear hubby and I have been battling even without the infertility issue, since he often travels away from home for work and has been know to spend months on end hours away from home  (with the exception of weekends). I am sure you understand, time is something I do not have to waste.

I purchased my Fit Pregnancy magazine when I noticed an article titled "Expecting after Infertility", and it launched me into considering all the complex emotions I can anticipate when I finally do get pregnant. It was actually more of a validation of my feelings, and in all this irregular mess I am going through, at least my feelings are normal. It was a refreshing but emotional read, as it discussed the identity crisis I may face once pregnant. I mean, after all this, how would you tell an infertile friend that you have overcome these circumstances, when they are still struggling? I know I need not be ashamed of that time in my life, but I built up this blog to build a community of women in similar circumstances, and I feel as though I can't expect them to be happy for me after all of this, when they are still struggling with the pain of their own situation.

Regardless, I am not there yet, it was just something I needed to consider. I hope, as you follow my story you will understand just how complex a situation this can be, even long after a positive pregnancy test. Once again, my heart is filled with thankfulness for having your love and support!