A Little Humor

It's not as if the appearance of my body is a tell-tale sign that I am infertile, its not as if I walk down the street and strangers who see me think to themselves "That poor women, she has been deceived by her womanhood and left childless", but I do often wonder what my body is saying or doing in response to (or the cause of) all this.

The other morning when I woke up not quite ready to jump out of bed I just laid there in thought. I began wondering the precise reasons why all this is happening since test after test has been done with no definitive result. If you know me, you know I have a sense of humor (probably my saving grace) so in true likeness I visualized my cheeky little ovaries with sly grins on their faces, playing keep away with my uterus. I imagined my uterus to be tearful and frustrated, unable to gain control of the situation as one of my ovaries threw my egg and the other caught it before poor uterus could intervene. This would continue back-and-forth with no end in sight. I imagined my ovaries laughing uncontrollably at the sight of my now angered uterus, and I began to laugh. I mean, imagine if it was that simple, Dr. does an ultrasound and sees my ovaries playing games with my uterus, I would probably just take a dose of Ritalin to calm those mo-foes down and boom, be pregnant.

After this moment, I began thinking about all the other responses my body is providing me in my need to get pregnant, and wondered, if I was weak enough to believe it, would I really be experiencing a pseudo-pregnancy. My belly has grown, (it would appear I am about four months pregnant), my breasts often get sore and swollen, I am nauseated nearly every morning. Of course, none of these signs are the real deal, its all more of just a comedy show my body is putting on. "That's great, you got me, now cut it out and kick it into high gear or I will get a tattoo of something hideous just to spite you!" There are women who have genuine real-live pseudo-pregnancies and it is nothing to make fun of, but now I can understand, it isn't just a thought process, it is a full body response to the desires of your heart. It's just a shame, in my case, that this doesn't mean the the whole "mind over matter" thing hasn't applied to me actually getting pregnant.

Regardless, I stand firm that It will happen... Soon!

So until then, I will enjoy the comedies of my own body and all its tomfoolery. In the meantime, If you happen to see any part of my reproductive system at yuk yuks doing stand up, kindly return it to me, I am ready to get this show on the road!