Why Me?

Each day I am faced with the challange of identifying my emotions because for me this is all part of the healing process since being faced with the bad news I get dealt is certainly enough to make the average woman breakdown. It also helps me dig deeper into the reasons why this is happening to us, because lets face it, it just doesnt make any sense! Shane (also referred to as dear hubby or DH) and I are a successful, married couple, who have all our ducks in a row: a beautiful (to us) home, reliable vehicles, professional careers, supportive families complete with THREE (potential) doting aunties, and two child-proofed dogs. Granted we are lacking a white picket fence, but come on, do we not sound PERFECT for parenthood?? Regardless, I am commited to remaining positive, and maintaining an anger-free Uterus for our eventual miracle. So with that said, I have compiled a list of the reasons why this unfortunate occurance has struck our household.

1. Our marriage is built on a strong foundation. Those who know DH and I well, understand that we have a very tight relationship, and despite infertility being a mounting force attempting to divide us, we stand stronger together. In fact, this experience, has brought us closer and improved our communication with each other a great deal.

2. I needed to be blessed with an extra-long period for nesting. I am a self-proclaimed neurotic, and I know my friends and family would concur that I am a "Neat-freak" to the umpth degree. So, it would only be natural that I would be given the extra time to prepare, and nest. And let me tell you after 1.5+ years of Baby dancing with no avail, you NEST regardless of a big fat positive pregnancy test.

3. We have two wonderful dogs that still require 100% of our love and attention. I am proud to be a fur-mom (especially at this time of struggle) to a cheeky chihuahua (Thai), and a soft-hearted Lab (Sophie). They fill our lives with such joy, and when we originally made the decision to begin our family, I went through very real emotions of guilt over displacing the love I have for my pups. Similiarly (I can only imagine), to the feelings a parent would feel when having a second child, you just cant imagine having enough love in your heart to provide each and everyone you love with the love and attention they deserve.

4. When my Infertile Hurdle is won, I will have gained a life experience that will empower me forever. When I am given advice (and it happens frequently) from friends that have not been through this experience, I am reminded that when we have overcome this obstacle, we will have a greater understanding of what it means to get pregnant. Afterall, isnt all lifes experiences meant to empower us?

5. I am on a mission to empower and inspire others (aka You). Just as I have been put on this earth to be moved and strengthened by my own exeriences, I am also here to share them and encourage and inspire others. In fact, the very purpose of me creating this blog was to build a community of people in a similar situations, so we no longer have to turn to people who just don't understand.

So, this is how I will continue to live each day, with a peace in my heart, and hope for the future. Feel free to share some of your positive outlooks with me, I would love to hear them, besides looking at it now my list looks a little too short, and I would love to build on it!